The courage of a connected family
Ivan was a proud New Zealander and a Māori man whose life was rich with culture, family, and connection. He and his wife, Melissa, shared their home with their children, Ryan, who was 14 and Sarah, who was 11.
When Ivan was diagnosed with terminal cancer, he and Melissa made the courageous decision to face the illness as a family, embracing honesty and unity. They spoke with Ryan and Sarah early, reassuring them they would face the journey together. For Ivan, his beliefs surrounding death were clear: he taught his children that death is a natural and beautiful part of life.
Preparing for peace at home
When Ivan’s chemotherapy stopped working in early 2020, he opted for specialist palliative care at home, supported by Karuna Hospice Services. The holistic support we offer was crucial, encompassing his medical needs, his cultural heritage, and the emotional wellbeing of his family.
Karuna ensured Ivan’s medical needs were expertly met at home, which provided Melissa with the confidence to manage his pain. We were always a phone call away for assistance. On the night of his passing, a specialist nurse was there to offer support and advice, and Venerable Tsultrim, our Spiritual Care Practitioner, came to say a prayer, affirming the importance of spiritual connection in his final moments.
Honouring culture and unity (Kotahitanga)
Karuna openly and respectfully embraced Ivan’s Māori cultural practices and beliefs. This deep cultural understanding is part of how we deliver people-centric care. A core element is the Māori concept of Kotahitanga – which means unity, togetherness, and solidarity. Palliative care, embodying Kotahitanga, recognises the interconnectedness of physical, emotional, and spiritual wellbeing.
Though the COVID-19 pandemic prevented Ivan’s burial in New Zealand, Melissa honoured his culture by hosting a Tangihanga—a Māori funeral ceremony focused on unity and remembrance—in Brisbane.
Carrying the connection forward
Ivan died peacefully at home, surrounded by the love and connection he cherished. Following his death, Karuna has continued to check on the family over the years, providing the dedicated grief support needed to help them navigate their loss. Involving their children early, as Ivan and Melissa did, helped them navigate the grief and loss with confidence.
Melissa’s family is a powerful example of how holistic care supports both the patient and their loved ones, ensuring a peaceful transition and resilience in the years that follow.
Show your support
Your support allows Karuna to continue providing this specialised, holistic care, offering culturally respectful and family-centred grief support to the Brisbane community. Please consider ways to give and help us honour unity.
