Karuna Hospice Services

Download the Karuna June 2007 Appeal in pdf format

Our story actually began a long time ago,but I will start on May 10th 2002, the day Philip and I moved into What If Farm.

We called it What If Farm after my propensity to start every sentence with ‘what if?’ What if we put up fences? We could have lots of animals.What if we built a barn? What if we went organic and grew our own vegetables? What if? What if? What if?

It became our mantra and What If Farm became the realisation of our dream. On September 21st 2002, Philip and I were married on the deck that he built (What if we built a deck? We could get married there).

This was a very happy time in our lives but two months later all that changed when Philip was diagnosed with metastatic prostate cancer.

Philip’s determination to ‘beat this thing’ was incredible.We applied our “What if?” mantra and we tried everything we could lay our hands on.

Throughout these first few years I heard of Karuna many times. Friends talked of the amazing support they had received from Karuna, our dear friend Maria, shared her strong association with Karuna with us. Karuna kept coming into our conversations and our consciousness.

Philip continued to work, we kept looking for answers, we kept hoping. Hope became the lifeline we sent out. But in December 2005 one of his tumors compressed his spinal cord. Paralysed from the chest down, Philip lay in the emergency ward of the Royal Brisbane Hospital. Emergency spinal surgery was scheduled. At 3.00 am the hospital staff suggested we say goodbye, his chances of surviving the operation was slim, the possibility that he would ever walk again was even slimmer. Philip survived and walked out of hospital 7 days later, but our world changed at that moment.

The word Karuna, started to be spoken more often. Philip believed he could cope, our amazing army of support stepped in,we managed for 11 more months, and then the cancer launched its next major attack - renal failure.

Philip was hospitalized in November 2006 with the first round of kidney trouble. His right kidney had failed. He returned to What If Farm a few days later. It was then that I contacted Karuna. After that first call, relief washed over me.

Philip had clearly expressed a wish to die at home. I was determined to do everything I could to honour that wish, but I was pretty scared, no to tell the truth I was terrified but determined.With Karuna, I started to believe that we could get through this. Our first visit from Karuna poured a soothing elixir over my fears. The nurse who came to do the admission was caring,warm and truly delightful. I warmed to her immediately and knew we had the right team on board straight away.

With Philip’s condition being relatively stable it was decided that Karuna would visit once a week, that seemed fine for the circumstances and so we set off with that schedule. In early December, both kidneys failed. We were now definitely into the business end of this situation. We were back in hospital. His pain levels were terrible; he was unsteady on his feet. He was frequently disorientated and unable to manage most functions on his own. Despite this, he was determined to come home.

Nurses in the palliative care ward warned me that what we intended to do was ‘impossible’. Philip’s condition required 24-hour care, his pain was not managed, and his life expectancy was very short. They stressed that Hospital was the ‘best place’ for him to be. Philip had different ideas, he was coming home, he was going to share Christmas with the family and he was going to die at ‘What If Farm’. With those announcements, I got back on the phone to Karuna. At this point Karuna became our lifeline.

They were incredibly reassuring. They organised equipment (a hospital bed, wheelchair and several other sundry items) and they increased their visits to daily.Their care extended to the whole family and our band of ever-present supporters. Nurses attended every day, were available on the phone 24/7, both emotional and spiritual counseling were offered (and gratefully accepted) and volunteer support and company initiated. In short, Karuna made ‘holistic’ into an art form, they were there at every turn.

Philip lapsed into a coma on New Year’s Eve and passed away peacefully on 2nd January.

As things got evidently closer, the contact and care provided by Karuna increased. Phone calls in between visits to ensure we were all right and wonderfully supportive conversations, to keep us going, became part of their daily visits. The warmth, love and caring were incredible. The nurse who attended on the morning of 2nd January said a special goodbye to Philip as she left and when the shift changed later that day the incoming nurse rang me to let me know she was on duty and I should ring if I needed anything. Philip’s dog Harry had moved into the bedroom and refused to be moved from Philip’s side. I knew we were close. Family members made sure we were with him at all times.

Philip’s passing, as sad and difficult as it was, will always shine a small light of warmth in my heart.We did it! We fulfilled his greatest wish to make his transition surrounded by love and his favorite music.Most of all, at home we gave him what no hospital could have, a view that meant the world to him, a place that filled his heart, the people he cared most about and Harry, his dog, lying with him to the end.

Our whole family will always be thankful to Karuna for helping us achieve the ‘impossible’ and I hope you will consider supporting Karuna’s Winter Appeal.

With best regards,

Joan Wilson Jones